Wednesday, June 8, 2011
The power of these words... "I am sorry" and "please forgive me"
When these words are spoken in a non sarcastic, non cynical, non judgmental way, they can fix most anything. When they are used in a kind, gentle, loving way, anger dies down. We live in a society with a lot of pride. Pride for the things we own, the things we've accomplished, things we do. We sometimes take this pride and belittle others with it, sometimes without even intending to do so. Several times we learn through the "grape vine," that we unintentionally hurt someone. We also live in a society that holds grudges and will not let them go until the person that has offended them apologizes or suffers just as great as you had. Pain is something we can't live without, it's the truth, but we also learn that we cannot experience joy without it. Physical pain eventually heals with time and medicine, spiritual pain can be healed through repentance, mental pain healed with some psychological work, emotional pain is one that it really hard to recover from. When I think about all of this, I try to think of the joys that come from experiencing these pains. With physical pain we learn that when that body part is functioning healthy and properly we are happy. With spiritual pain, after we repent, the burden of sin is gone and we are happy again as well. Mental pain when someone understands you and wants to help you think properly can be comforting. Emotional pain the kind comes with the heart as well is affected mostly by others. Where it's difficult for others to understand, even if they have experienced similar pains, but this is a personal pain that is difficult to overcome. As with spiritual pain, you kind of feel a separation from everything, not just God. And sometimes even the best of distractions are not good enough, but they do help. Only one understands and that's our Savior Jesus Christ. He's experienced what we've been through, all of these pains, and the ones to come as well. He suffered so we wouldn't not have to. And no matter how much we say "I am sorry, please forgive me" to Him, he will still take us by the hand and say, "go and sin no more." When we are offended or hurt by someone, even a loved one, we must ask ourselves, and I know it's difficult, but we should ask, "is it worth being angry or upset over?" and the answer most likely, naturally still be yes, but in thinking it over, we realize it wasn't. The best answer I have searched for in regarding being hurt is by Elder Joe J. Christensen. He says, "Be quick to say I'm sorry, as hard as it is to form the words, be swift to say I apologize, and please forgive me, even though you are not the one totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses." I know that as we follow this great advice, our homes will have the spirit more abundantly, love will grow, and happiness will be in store for us. I am sorry to those whom I have offended both on purpose and unintentionally, I could be mean and say they totally deserved it, but I won't. And I forgive those that have done any wrong to me either on purpose or not as well. Please forgive me for any wrong I've done towards you. These words teach us patience and love for God and our fellow men and women. I got a fortune cookie today from Panda Express, which is not real Chinese food by the way, but still yummy. The fortune said "give time and thought to all that you do." Not the greatest fortune, like the ones that say you will be a rockstar someday, but still profound. In our words, actions, and deeds, we must always give thought and time, and another t word, tact in all we do! I am grateful for the examples in my life where they are slow to anger, and quick to say I am sorry.